Remember all the random apps you used to download as a kid? I remember getting my first-ever iPhone, the 3GS, and spending hours downloading apps that made zero sense but made my younger self incredibly happy.
Now, as I near the ripe old age of 30, I decided to go through my App Store downloads and highlight some of the most random and nostalgic apps I downloaded as a kid. From Milk The Cow to a period where I downloaded multiple talking pet apps, this is a peek into my youth.
For this list, I’ve gone with apps that have been downloaded from my current Apple ID. From what I can gather, this ID was created around 2010 so older apps like Doodle Jump, iBeer, or that one app where you could pretend to eat popcorn from your iPhone’s screen, are all missing. Instead, I’ll focus on the ones I can see in my download history. So, buckle up, and get ready to enter the weird and wonderful world of my teenage brain.
Milk The Cow
The app that sparked this article idea is one of the strangest I’ve ever seen, and something I have no recollection of ever downloading. It’s called Milk The Cow and as its name suggests you milk a cow from the comfort of your sofa. You need to milk the cow as fast as you can and it even has a multiplayer mode so you can ‘milk’ with friends, apparently.
According to the App Store listing, you can even buy a Pro version which includes multiple udders to choose from: XXXL, Classic, Furry, and Cowborg — why oh why did my teenage self download this game we’ll never know, but it sure does sound like a blast!
Talking Tom, Ben, and Pierre
I’m not sure what happened on the 26th December 2011 but it looks like I really wanted to speak to some animals on my iPhone. Turns out I decided to download Talking Tom Cat, Talking Ben the Dog, and Talking Pierre the Parrot to fulfill my animal chat dreams.
These apps are still available to download to this day, although I’m not sure why you’d want to download a talking animal that works like a rubbish version of a Tamagotchi. That said, if you’ve always wanted a pet parrot, then why not give Pierre a try, after all I’ve never seen a parrot play an electric guitar in real life.
Cubed Rally Redline
Cubed Rally Redline was an obsession of mine for a very long time. You race as a small blue rally car and need to race to the finish without running out of fuel, tapping left and right to change lanes and avoid obstacles. It’s insanely addictive and while it hasn’t been updated in eight years, I have so many fond memories of the little racer that I just had to mention it in this article.
There appears to be a newer version called Cubed Rally Racer but that’s part of GameClub, a mobile gaming subscription. If you’re looking for a new game to play on your commute, however, you could do much worse than this nostalgic treat.
Dumb Ways to Die
Dumb Ways to Die, so many dumb ways to die. Get your toast out with a fork. Do your own electrical work. Teach yourself how to fly. Eat a two-week-old unrefrigerated pie. Sing it with me! Anyone? Nope, just me?
Dumb Ways to Die was a song written for an Australian train safety commercial in 2012 and it’s so catchy that even 12 years later I can still hum the tune. The app on the other hand was fairly forgettable, simple games that were meant to teach kids about safety near the railway.
This music video is incredible and I implore anyone reading this to watch the embedded video below.
Akinator
Akinator… Ring a bell? I spent hours using Akinator to read my mind in the hope that I could outsmart the genie from guessing the celebrity I was thinking of. The app is popular to this day and one of the original iconic entertainment apps for the iPhone.
Nowadays we have games like Resident Evil 4 on the best iPhones, but back in the early 2010s us kids had to find our own fun by playing guessing games with a cartoon character stuck behind a screen. If you’ve never heard of Akinator give it a try, it’s silly fun but perfect to bring out at parties.
